Ok, so I'm a Mother

Today I am not a Mammy, a Mum or Mama, but a Mother...

What has made me have this realisation? My daughter having her first proper illness.

Thinking about when it started, it was Monday lunchtime when Violet didn't want to eat any lunch, I thought she was just being fussy and naturally I was getting annoyed. So lunch was scrapped and she went for a short nap. She seemed ok in herself, if a little quiet but I was hopeful for a more successful dinner time, oh how wrong I was! Once again, more fussing, we tried different foods, new foods, finger foods, puree, in hindsight I now feel terrible at not realising something was wrong. So dinner was given up on and she went off for a bath. She had her usual 9oz bedtime bottle which she guzzled happily as always and went off to the land of nod easy peasy.
We went to bed early as we were both feeling poorly. At midnight I woke up hearing Ant rustling around in Violet's room, I simply thought she'd done a dirty nappy and he was changing her, I went to dim the light on my way to the bathroom and heard him say "Vic, come here something's wrong", when I entered and saw my baby covered in vomit, her cot covered in it, the walls covered in it, the remnants of an explosive nappy and vomit covered muslins on the floor, my heart dropped and a rush of panic washed over me.
Violet has only ever had a snuffly cold, which lasted no longer than a day and she always seemed completely unfazed by it all, this was somewhat different!
We cleaned her up, washed her hair, changed her bed and put all the dirty things straight in the wash. She had a few sips of water and went back off to sleep, she seemed quite happy and not at all bothered that she'd had bits of sweetcorn in her hair!
Half an hour later, *cough splutter barf* it happened again. Once again, we changed, cleaned, watered her and again put her back to bed after a cuddle. Ant made us cups of tea and we anticipated how little sleep we were going to get!
She woke again at 4:30 but she didn't seem to have anything left in her so it was just a coughing fit. She woke at 7:30 and we got her up and in bed with us for her morning bottle. She was very quiet, scarily so. We cuddled her and she drank a little milk. I called the doctor for advice and he told me to monitor her temperature and just keep offering her fluids and bland food if she wanted it. We brought her downstairs to see if she wanted some plain toast, she ate teeny bits. I offered her some bits of banana, she ate a couple and then started to get weepy. I took her upstairs for a nap, she seemed very keen to be in her bed (she loves her bed) and she slept for an hour. When I got her up I could tell instantly that she wasn't happy. She is usually so smiley and happy to see you but today she was sad with tears in her eyes. She didn't want to sit on the floor with her toys, all she wanted was to be cuddled. Unfortunately, Ant had to do work so I was on my own, already full of cold myself, having had around 3 hours sleep and needing my inhaler every four hours. She sat quietly on my lap for hours, nodding off for a little nap every now and again, she was so limp. We had been checking her temperature every hour or so (very glad we got our own thermometer!) and it was always normal. She never seemed in pain, just very tired and a bit sad. She had a few sips of water throughout the day and by lunchtime she seemed really fretful. I called the doctor and they made her an appointment for that afternoon. The doctor said she had a temperature of 38 degrees (she had been 36.4 all day) so we were prescribed paracetamol to reduce it. The doctor did say that whatever we had been doing, we had done well as Violet seemed happy, relaxed and hydrated, this was a bit of good news! We brought her home after picking up her prescription and I gave her the medicine straight away, she swallowed the lot.
We sat on the floor with her toys and I just watched her playing, she was still a bit weepy but every now and again she would smile and laugh. It was then that I realised I hadn't drank or eaten all day, I had completely forgotten, this was the moment I realised I was a Mother. I had been watching her like a hawk all day and quietly crying when she lay on me completely lifeless. She was so dependent on us both, all she wanted was for us to be with her or to cuddle her, constantly raising her arms to be lifted.
She's always such a placid, indepenent baby, it was a reality check to be reminded that she was still my tiny baby and it was my responsibility to make sure she was ok and to always put her needs before my own.
I'm sure I'll look back on this and laugh at how dramatic it all seemed, but as a new parent and seeing your baby really ill for the first time is a massive emotional rollercoaster. I can't bear the thought of her ever being seriously ill, I know this is probably a trivial illness compared to what some parents are going through, but for now, and for me, this was difficult enough.
Currently she is fast asleep after having her bottle, and I am nervously eating maltesers while watching the baby monitor and listening very closely to her breathing.
I know this is the first illness of many to come, but by heck this really wasn't fun!
Here's to a good night's sleep and a happier baby tomorrow.

Vic x

Turning 30

So then, the big 30 crept up on me at the weekend! I haven't been scared or bothered about it, more just a feeling of "feck I'm halfway to 60!"

I'd asked Ant to plan something to celebrate. Not a massive thing with lots of expense, just something my friends could afford to attend and it not be too big a fuss. I gave him a list of my friends who I thought could practicably attend and left it at that.
On the morning of my birthday I woke up to cuddles with my gorgeous baby girl and a treasure hunt of presents, including a teeny penny farthing from Queen Victoria's reign, a Radio Times from the week I was born, a comic book cover of me depicted as a superhero called Black Canary drawn by my rather clever husband, an acorn charm to reflect my hometown as the acorn is its symbol, a Daily Prophet newspaper article all about my alternate ego's escapades at Hogwarts poisoning people and escaping Azkaban, and other silly presents which fitted into the treasure hunt theme of them being my "horcruxes" (did I mention I was a massive Harry Potter geek?!) One was even buried in the garden but obviously I made Ant go and get that one as it was freezing outside!

So that was lots of fun and I must express my thanks and love for my hubby at this point. He put so much effort into it all and each of my gifts were so thoughtful.

After all this excitement it was time to pack Baby V up ready to go to her grandparents as they had kindly offered to have her for the night so we could have a night off. It was Violet's first time being away from both of us and I was a little sad but she sees them a lot and apparenty was a complete dream, she ate well, slept well and played well, a very happy and proud mammy I was!
So we hiked it over to Manchester, stayed until she went down for a nap and scooted back to Leeds to get in party mode.
When we got home the house was so quiet and felt very empty! We tidied up a little and shortly afterwards my lovely friend Jo arrived. Not only had she brought me an amazing homemade birthday cake covered in little iced violets, but she had a milk jug made for me and she had hand painted a watercolour of violets and had it printed onto the jug along with the date of my 30th birthday inside, I was astonished that she went to so much trouble, it was really lovely.
We chilled out and chatted for a while and decided to crack open a bottle of pink champagne I got given when Violet was born, it was scrumptious! As it turns out getting ready and applying make up take a lot longer after a bottle of champers, but we got there eventually with eye liner intact! We lit my birthday candles and Jo and Ant sang me Happy Birthday, then Ant had to leave to do secret stuff at the venue. Rach and Rob came round shortly after and she got me my only helium balloon (I like to get balloons, then it really feels like a party!) and her mammy, whom I have also known since I was 9, had knitted me one of her classic retro fair isle jumpers! I was pretty chuffed to say the least! So then we all headed out to town.
I arrived and there was my lonesome husband sat in a corner adorned with bunting saying "Happy 30th Birthday Vic", flags with different photos of me on each one, numerous wall mounted photos of me depicted as the Queen and one of my lovely baby to make sure she was with us! The bar, called The Backroom, was fab. Its a fairly new bar on Call Lane and the staff were so helpful. They had filled a table with everything we needed to make gin & tonics and also included some old fashioned sweets which we all scoffed! The music was fab and they played numerous requests, although I drank too much gin to remember them all but I do remember my request of No Diggity coming on and being rather excited!
The night consisted of catching up with all my lovely friends, hearing their exciting news, getting some lovely gifts, free jaegerbombs, a bit of crying, a bit of dancing, shouting at a young trashy tart (she shouted first!) and wobbling home and eating a homemade paella pizza as the takeaway had shut! All in all, a successful day and night!
Needless to say the next day consisted of being in a daze, eating dirty mcdonalds breakfast, having to drive in the snow over to Manchester to pick Violet up, coming home and going to bed shortly after Violet did! So yes, Sunday was a write off!

Once again, thank you to my lovely friends for coming and celebrating my birthday. Thank you for all my lovely gifts. Thanks to Jo for my cake and helping Ant in planning and making all the decorations. Most of all thank you to my wonderful and thoughtful husband for making my 30th very special and making sure I had a great time, which I did.

ttfn, Vic

Climbing up the Walls

Hello Again

Time for some honest writing about being sad! *waves goodbye to some readers*!

At present I am a little glum (please don't sigh). I always knew not living near family and having a baby would be hard and something I can't change but lately I guess I've been finding it harder than usual, I have friends in Leeds but I lack a support network that you only get from family. I try not to moan about it too much, infact, I think I bottle a lot up, but last week it all just came pouring out!

Because of all of this we have been seriously discussing moving. We're unsure where at the moment but we know that we have to be in a chosen area a year before Violet starts school, as it wouldn't be fair to move Violet into different schools. We want to be somewhere she can be settled.

The question is where?! I have family and close friends in the north east, also some family I could really reconnect with which would be nice. The drawback? My sister would be even further away, Ant's parents also further away and that there aren't many jobs up there!
Then there is the option of moving nearer Ant's parents. We have a couple of friends that way and Ant could possibly transfer his existing job there. The drawback. We can't afford to live in the better areas, certainly nowhere that close to his parents.
Moving south doesn't really feel like something either of us want to do. We only really know my sister and her family down there and as lovely as it would be to see her a lot, I would really miss my friends. So the dilemma continues! Decisions need to be made, even if it means moving just out of Leeds to a smaller village or town, we need to figure it out soon!

My lovely friend Jo came to my rescue on Saturday night. I had called her that afternoon in somewhat of a stressed pickle (rather stupidly over trying to find a party outfit for my birthday!) which then proceeded to escalate into a full on sobfest and the realisation that my outburst wasn't really over an outfit at all. She turned up on my doorstep a couple of hours later to surprise me and helped me figure out how to sort my stupid brain out. Hence the blog of spilling it all out! We talked about the negative things and addressed what can be done to help the bits that I can change and I just need to try and accept the things I can't change (these are the things that stress me out the most!)
She says I need to talk about the positive things in my life out loud and remind myself of them every day. I also thought that just letting it all out and being honest about how much of a pleb I am being (that's me making light of depression!) might actually start to help.

I'm sure some people reading this will be thinking I sound like a right misery guts. Well, I'm not apologising! I find if you don't let these things out then they start to eat you away from the inside, so this is my first step into helping myself get better! I'm not after any pity, I certainly don't enjoy moaning or feeling like this, I don't want anyone to say "oh I'm sorry you feel like this" I'm sure those who are reading this will know how to help me in their own ways, the same way I try to help them.

I promise this will be my only "woe is me" blog. I just wanted to put it out there that yes I am really rather sad of late, I need to cut out the people/things that make me sadder, work on the relationships that I do love, accept the things I cannot change will not change for me and work on changing the things I can. People won't do any of this for me, I must do it for myself. I will become less of a doormat and be more assertive about what I want and need out of life.

You get back what you put in through life, and this I must relay to myself as a new mantra!

Phew, now that that's over, I will think of a more enlightening blog for next time!

Bye for now

Birth! (it's a long one!)

Hello again!

My friend Heather (Little Tin Bird) has encouraged me to write about my birth, mainly for historical reference in that one day Baby V might have a baby of her own and I'm sure/hopeful(!) she'll be interested to know how she came into this world.  Heather has written fantastic blogs about her baby, Tiny Tin Bird, and every time I read them, I get a little pang of guilt that I haven't recorded anything about Baby V, which is probably the main reason I started blogging in the first place.

So here goes the (heavily edited) story about my birth:

My contractions started on my due date at around 3pm, they were only mild to begin with and only every 15/20 minutes apart so I only told Ant as I didn't want everyone else to get too excited! My friend Rachel was due to come round for dinner that night so I didn't bother cancelling as I thought I could manage my contractions without letting on. I did keep discreetly logging my contractions on my labour app though just to keep on track. They left at around 10:30pm and at around 11pm I had a "show" and rang the hospital, then suddenly the contractions became around 7/10 minutes apart, needless to say getting any sleep was off the agenda! I decided to tell family and close friends that I was in labour and in hindsight I kind of wish I hadn't as I don't think many of them had much sleep after that!
 We drove to the hospital at 8:30am where I was assessed, I was only 1cm dilated and my contractions were too sporadic so they sent me home. I spent most of the day trying to have power naps in between contractions and Ant kneaded my back during each one like there was no tomorrow. I had two baths which I was in for about an hour each time, I found being in the warm water really helpful. I was getting texts and calls all day which kept switching my contraction timer off so I was getting a bit flustered. Aside from that I didn't have any energy to chat as I'd still not slept and was trying to keep as much energy as I could for the hard part. We watched various tv programmes though I can't remember much about them, funny thing about contractions is that they switch your entire brain off from other thoughts other than the thought of "OWWWWW!!", I could barely speak during them!

I attempted to eat some toast and porridge but the toast ended up cold and in the bin and the porridge made a reappearance in my kitchen sink (contractions hurt that much!) I rang the hospital out of desperation at 8pm even though I knew my contractions weren't regular enough (3/5/7 mins apart) and they told me I could come down but that the labour ward was closed due to full capacity, it was then that I had a little panic as I really wanted a water birth and the other hospital doesn't have water birth facilities, I really didn't want to be stuck on a bed! Anyway they said I could come down and be assessed and hopefully they'll be open again once I reach the right stage.

So off we went back to the hospital where I was assessed again, to be told I was a measly 1-2 cm dilated! Only another 1cm in 12 hours?! Geez I was miffed! They said I could go home again or I could wait in the assessment ward for up to two hours, I chose to stay as I couldn't bear getting back in the car and going home, I didn't want to go home until I had a baby to come with me goddamit! So we waited in the assessment ward, which felt like forever. I don't know what the midwife had done but my contractions were coming thick and fast and hurt a hell of a lot more than before, which I thought was impossible! She gave me some cocodamol which helped a bit, but not much. I found the whole being stuck on a bed thing really draining, I was in a teeny space with a curtain for privacy and felt really claustrophobic. I was on the bed-off the bed-on the-bed constantly, sometimes squatting on the floor, leaning over a chair, squeezing Ant's arms, whatever I could do to help the tension! The worst bit was when Ant went to the car to get the bags and put more money on the meter, I felt very scared being on my own and even though it was only for 20 minutes it felt like hours! By this time all thoughts of a water birth and no pain relief had left my mind and all I kept thinking was "I'm going to need an epidural" and there was no question about it. Those two hours were the most painful in all of my life!
Anyhoo, two hours had passed and the Nurse came back and assessed me again, and wahoooo I was 5cm and ready to go to delivery AND they were reopened! However since I had mentioned epidural about 500 times, they took me to a normal delivery room with the option of the bath, I got in the room and I knew it wasn't right. I mentioned the new water birth room (for those who watch One Born Every Minute it's the one that Myleene Klass opened) and she said she'd rather keep that for someone who definitely wanted a water birth. Ant then said to me "you've wanted a water birth since the word go, you said you never wanted drugs, are you sure you want to pass on a water birth?" I knew he was right, I had always wanted to birth my baby myself in the water so I told the nurse to ignore my requests for an epidural (she later said she wouldn't have let me have one anyway as I was a "star"!) and off I went to the swanky shiny new birthing pool!

The room was brilliant, there was a bed, the pool, dim lights, underwater lighting, sparkly lights on the ceiling, a comfy chair lovely photos of cute babies and a lovely big bathroom. My midwife Kathy (she was a legend!) ran the water straight away so I could carry on dilating in the water rather than on the bed as I may have mentioned how much I hated being on the bed! I was sooo relieved to get in the water, the bath is about 1.25m deep so enough to bob around in which made me feel quite light for the first time in months! Kathy offered me gas and air which I found didn't really do anything for the pain but with me being asthmatic I found using the mouthpiece to control my breathing was what helped the most, that and biting on it during the contractions! After about 2 hours in the water, I think I lost the will to live! The pains were longer and the urge to push was really quite overwhelming, I kept asking to come out the water and that I couldn't do it anymore and I needed pain relief. Both Ant and Kathy kept telling me that I was doing really well and that if I could manage a little longer then I would get my wish of having a water birth. I think I grumbled a fair bit but while Kathy was checking me she said she could feel the top of my baby's head, so I checked too and she was right! I felt a firm 50p coin sized area of what could only be described as a piece of firm fuzzy felt (her hair as it turned out!) and, well, that was it really, my motivation was back! I wanted to see my baby RIGHT NOW so I controlled my breathing, did some pushing, broke the rest of my waters and an hour or so later, at 2:47am she was out!  I delivered her myself, something I'm still pretty chuffed about, and the first thing I said to her was "Hello Violet, I'm your mammy and there's your daddy". I sat there for a good 20 minutes before she got taken to be cleaned up and dried, it was so lovely. I was in so much pain and felt like I'd been kicked in the crotch with a tree branch, but I didn't care. She was here, eyes closed and curled up in a teeny ball on my tummy rather than inside it. She did the smallest of cries and just went to sleep on me while I sat there with her under my top. I remember Ant pacing the room all emotional and not knowing what to do, so we got her cord ready and he cut that, he was scared he was going to cut her and was trembling with nerves. Kathy cleaned her up and wrapped her in blankets and gave her to Ant to hold.

I must write my appreciation for my midwife as if it wasn't for her (and Ant) I wouldn't have gotten through it, she was such a good motivator and kept nicely kicking my butt when it needed kicking. I probably would have given in on a water birth if it wasn't for her and she kept me calm the whole time and let me do the whole birthing moment all by myself. She was very kind and kept applauding me for doing so well and not crying or screaming!

So I got out the pool, feeling like Bambi learning to walk again as I don't think I had any energy left! I was hoisted into the bed and wrapped in blankets to warm up and passed my baby back so I could feed her. I'll never forget what it felt like to breastfeed her for the first time, it was very natural and I couldn't quite believe that she knew what to do straight away! I doubt she got much from me as I hadn't eaten in days but she seemed to enjoy staying there! Ant sat next to me staring at her and taking photos and we wrote a message to send to our friends and family (it was a bit late/early to be calling people).
I needed a shower desperately as I felt a bit minging by this point. A different midwife called Naomi was looking after me at this point and she said if wanted a shower to have Ant stay in the bathroom with me just in case, which I thought was a bit unnecessary at the time as I felt completely fine, just a bit tired. So off I went to the shower with my toiletries, quite excited about being clean and moisturised again! I felt a little light headed as I was turning the shower off, which I thought was because of the heat, so Ant helped me out and sat me on a chair while he went to get me a biscuit which I had asked for to help my sugar levels. Now, this is where I resort to Ant for details as I don't remember what happened next. Apparently, Ant came back and my eyes were completely glazed over and he was trying to pass me the biscuit but I just stared at him and my eyes rolled into the back of my head, then I swayed off the chair and Ant had to catch me, I had passed out. He said because I was fresh out the shower that I was too slippy to hold, plus the fact I was a dead weight he couldn't hold me so put me down on the floor in the recovery position. He said he looked in my mouth and couldn't see my tongue and was worried I had swallowed it, which is when he panicked. He pressed the emergency buttons on the wall but nobody was coming so he ran out into the corridor and shouted for help and about five or six midwives came running. All I remember is waking up, seeing a blonde lady in my face and for a split second I had forgotten I'd had a baby and thought I'd just nodded off at home for a nap! Then I realised there was more than one midwife, that I was naked, cold and wet and that Ant was there, white as a sheet and looking VERY freaked out and upset. Then I was told that I'd had "a little fall", I was getting my blood pressure checked and was assured I was OK, I was just a bit exhausted and that a 36 hour labour, no food, no sleep, losing blood and giving birth had taken its toll on me! They asked me if I knew where I was, which I did, and I could hear them asking Ant if I had anything to wear, I called out that I had new "post birth special M&S pjs" and they laughed and said I must be OK if I can be thinking about that! They stood me up, dried me off, helped me get dressed and put me in a wheelchair and forbid me to walk until my shakes had gone. They brought me extra toast which Ant ate most of and lots of cups of tea which definitely helped. As soon as we were alone Ant burst into tears bless him, he was so worried and after all the emotion of seeing me in labour, I think it was all a bit much for him!

We were allowed to stay in our nice room for quite a while so we waited until around 9am. We packed up and I was wheeled off carrying Baby V down to the post-natal ward, where I was promised some sleep (hahaha!) Ant helped me unpack my stuff and I fed Baby V again, then he left to go home, I told him to get a taxi as he was too tired to drive but it turns out he drove anyway and got stuck in a diversion so only made it home in time for an hour long nap as my sister turned up after that!
I got really emotional when I was alone, Violet slept for hours and I just watched her sleep. Her skin looked like velvet and she kept flexing her tiny fingers. Her eyes were squished closed and she sort of looked a little Chinese! I'd dressed her in what now seems like a tiny onesie but it was baggy and enormous on her, she was also wearing a tiny cotton hat and I swaddled her in her blanket. I kept crying on and off all day, I wanted to squeeze her close to me all day but thought she deserved the sleep. The nurses in Delivery kept telling me I would get some sleep in PN Ward, they must be mad as all I could hear was screaming babies and kept getting numerous nurses, the hearing test lady and the Bounty lady popping in every 20 minutes! So needless to say I got no sleep which was a nightmare as I hadn't slept for three nights already! So then my sister, the in-laws and Ant came to visit me on the first visiting session, my sister arriving in floods of happy tears and telling me she felt she had a responsibility to be here for me which was rather lovely of her. My mother in law (MIL) was a little overwhelmed and just stared at Baby V the whole time, she looked quite besotted. My father in law (FIL) had a little cry while cuddling her, they kept saying how she was the best thing to happen to them in a long time and kept thanking me which made me rather misty eyed to say the least! They were only allowed to stay for two hours so they left but Ant stayed with me to help me go to the bathroom and get me some food as I was starving and never managed to eat my lunch as Violet kept waking every time I tried to eat!

My best friend Rachel (who also blogs: Rewarding Memories) and Rob came to see us during the second visiting hours. Rach brought me some sweets and a newspaper for me to keep for Violet so she can see what happened on the day she was born. They had cuddles and took pictures. It must have been strange for her seeing me with a baby as we have BFF's since we were nine years old! Ant went with them when they left as he didn't have the car, so I was left again to get my stuff ready and get dressed, which was a mission in itself! The physiotherapy lady came to check Violet as you're not allowed to leave until that is done, she got the all clear. The midwife came to check I was OK feeding (you're not allowed to go until they're happy you can feed the baby yourself) and I was told I was allowed to leave, hurrah! So at 8:30pm I was off home! Ant carried Violet in her car seat and I managed to carry a bag and my "baby girl" balloon. Violet and I waited for Ant to bring the car round, and I remember catching my reflection and having no bump (well, a smaller squishier version!) felt very strange! Ant drove like an old man the entire journey home and I just took pictures of Violet in her little hat wrapped in her blanket all sleepy and snuggly. Then we were home with our perfect little bundle of joy and the fun was just about to begin...!
 

Hello there, cyberspace!

My name is Vic, I am 30 years old and have been married since Sept 2010 to my amazing husband Ant. We live in Leeds (despite neither of us being from here) and we have a 6 month old baby daughter called Violet (or Baby V as she will be affectionately called on here).

A few of my friend's have inspired me into doing a blog, mainly as a memory for the future. I am thinking that this will consist of useless day to day babbling and from time to time an update of my gorgeous baby daughter (for my mum to read mainly!).

I'm not really sure where to begin with this, I kind of wonder why anyone would want to know anything about me! I don't knit, I don't scrapbook, I don't climb mountains or go sky diving. I can sew pretty well but my tiredness and love of sitting down sort of overrides this! I am quite into cross stitching at the moment, even though it may sound like something your Grandma does, I highly recommend it for those who find knitting and the more "creative" hobbies a struggle to get their heads around and for those who simply don't have the energy or the time to go climbing/walking/sailing as their hobby! Cross stitching is easy to follow, takes a bit of time, is quite relaxing and you get something pretty at the end, sounds good to me! I also like to take photographs, not professionally I must admit, but my Dad is forever trying to teach me how to use my posh camera so hopefully I will get better!

A friend told me writing blogs has made her do more in her day to day life and that writing blogs has become a hobby in itself, so there we go, my new hobby can be writing nonsensical babble!

I guess a good place to start would be to tell you about my daughter, Baby V. Well, we wanted to start a family straight after we got married in 2010 but financially that just wasn't possible, we needed to move to a more appropriate house as we lived in a flat, Ant needed to learn to drive, we needed a more "practical" car as I drove a classic Mini (something I still regret selling!) and most importantly, we needed to save some money! I probably bang on about saving money far too much, but I think my drill-sergeant sister has calculated my finances to the death, I can't moan though as if she hadn't we'd have ignored being sensible and royally screwed ourselves, so thank you dearest sister!

So we moved house on the Royal Wedding weekend in 2011, Ant started learning to drive, I sold the Mini that summer *sob*, we bought an Astra *yawn*, celebrated our first wedding anniversary, and then decided to try for a baby, exciting times! Little did I know that it would happen a lot faster than we thought, and on 21 October 2011, we found out we were pregnant, wahoo!

In short, my pregnancy consisted of, us getting burgled and me getting very stressed, extremely bad morning sickness over the whole of Christmas, horrid hormonal skin problems, feeling very self conscious about my changing shape, worrying that my baby would suddenly go away, not worrying about the labour (nope, not one bit, honest), finding out she was a girl, struggling during the heatwaves and having to stand naked in my work toilet cubicles to cool down, keeping active, lots of kegels, giant boobs, giant ar$e and most importantly, a giant bump!

I had a month off before my baby was due which I spent mainly baking, cleaning, decorating, sunbathing, shopping and visiting my friends, basically making the most of my freedom for the last time!

On Thursday 28 June (the day before I was due), I made Jamie Oliver's 30 minute mushroom risotto (it was amazing and highly recommended!) and we went on a really long walk around Roundhay Park and I climbed both up and down 150 steps in the hope of helping the baby come on time.

The next day (my due date) I thought my water had broke slightly in the morning but nothing happened after that. Then at 3pm I had what felt like a period pain which lasted for about a minute. I tried not to get too excited so just sat and waited, then 15 minutes later I had another one, so then I got a bit excited! I rang Ant as he was at work, he said he would come home just to be on the safe side. By the time he arrived home, I'd had three more contractions!

And so the story of my labour begins, which deserves its very own blog, so until next time, by for now...!